PADDLING DOWN THE ZAMBEZI!!!

22nd & 23rd March 2007
Zimbabwe - Victoria Falls
Kingdom Hotel

When we arrived at Victora Falls we were met by our tour guides who had a big sign up for us with our names on! They had tours ready for us to try out as soon as they met us!! So at the airport, different tours spinning around in our heads we searched the Adventure brochures to see what we´d do.

We got so overwhelmed we thought we´d book when we got to the hotel.

They´d know what to do. We thought.

We booked tours we didn´t know much about! Firsly we were going to do a helicopter ride over Victoria Falls but couldn´t fit it it. And what a choice that was. A good one. The ´helicopter´was a ultra light plane. Hmm...when i saw one of those at the airport later i was so glad we couldn`t arrange that one.

A canoe ride was another one that looked good. There was a picture of a guide at the back of the canoe with two people sitting at the front. The guide paddled. It looked beautiful and relaxing. Canoeing down the Zambezi River.

We booked that, as well as a moonlight cruise later in the night.

We awoke early to go canoeing. The hotel organised a packed breakfast and we waited out the front of the hotel for our lift. A landrover, with outside seats took us to a location in the main centre. We picked up two English guys, 2 young german couples and an American. We also picked up our raft like canoes. Were they really canoes? Off we went, to top of the Zambezi river.

As we were travelling along the guide was asking if we´d canoed before! I didn´t put up my hand because about the only canoeing i´d ever done was with Robyn in her little canoe at the Abrolhos. And that was mild. She had a little paddle and i sat there. No! I´d never canoed. Why´d he want to know that!

Greg was confident. I was confident in Greg. He´d rowed before. He´d know what he was doing. But anyway, why´d he have to know? Afterall, we were to have a guide that paddled us both. The guy was taking the micky. As we knew most of these tourists guides were inclined to do!

We got to the spot. The guide now introduced himself as ´Ïnnocent´. His driver was called ´Titanic´. The names were appropriate, we were later to learn!

Innocent gave us safety instructions on how to get away from crocodiles and Hippos. The two most dangerous animals in the water. Especially the hippos who are the biggest killers in Africa today. Why was he telling us all this? He said if our boat gets overturned to swim like mad to the sure as a hippo will charge the biggest thing, the boat and not the person. If a crocodile is about to get us, paddle like mad.

I was to find out i was meant to listen very, very carefully because we were going to be canoeing ourselves. Two in a boat. Just Greg and I. The strongest and most coordinated (Greg) at the back.

The guide jumped in with the American. The two english guys were together and the two german couples went in together. We were all pretty much amateurs!

Before we knew it. We were in our canoes and padding down the Zambezi!

The first wild thing was the crocodile pop up his head near to the shore, near us. Innocent screamed at us, ¨paddle!¨We paddled all right. Our hearts were beating like mad. Before we even knew what we were doing we were literally paddling over the crocodile. The thought of it´s jaws were actually quite frightening and it´s only after (now) we realise how dangerous it was. These creatures were wild. And we were game.

There was no time to complain. No time to pull out. No time to realise we didn´t want to do this. We had to get down the river, the landrover had gone and it was going to be picking us up in three hours time, with lunch. (If that was required)

As we were about to approach white water, the two german girls asked, or should i say, yelled at Innocent, the guide to go to shore. No, he couldn´t. We had to go through the rapids, no time to talk, no time to go to shore.

Through the rapids we went! It was exhilerating. But it felt dangerous.

There were quiet hippos that weren´t causing any trouble as we paddled along.

The girls wanted out. They said they were on the wrong tour. We were all on the wrong tour. Well, all, except the American! The two English guys didn´t know where they were meant to be and didn´t care, they were having fun. In fact, Carl, was a crazy man. He was profoundly deaf but had an implant but we´re sure he had selective hearing as well.

He didn´t listen to a damn thing Innocent was saying, even after his friend had told him in sign language the instructions and i was sure he was going to get us into trouble because he was deviating and it almsot felt like he wanted to encourage the hippos we were passing. (He was thumping the boat when we were told not to as it encourages the hippos to react).

We knew we were definately on the wrong tour. This was definately not mild cruising with a guide in a quite stretch of the river.

This was the real thing.

Innocent calmed the girls down as we parked regularly at the shores of the river. I´m not sure why i wasn´t worried, at this point. I think maybe i didn´t realise the danger. I´m just not sure.

I was concentrating on paddling. My back was starting to hurt. My arms were ok, it was just my back. But Greg was at the back doing the steering and most of the work. I still had to paddle to keep up and really, we were both, and all, paddling like mad!

We approach a quiet stretch of water. Innocent told us to stop and go to shore. He was heading us, and Titanic was trailing us. We were all meant to be in single file. When he yelled intructions it was only once and we had to listen except Carl - he had to be told a million times and eventually prodded by his mate to just STOP! And he wouldn´t single file. Honestly, you always seemt to get one person, a pain in the neck person who just wants to be an attention seeker. You´d think, being deaf, he´d be doubly cautious, but no. He really made it hard for Innocent and we were all feeling it.

We got to shore. Innocent said there was a hippo in the water. No one could see him. A few questioned him. He had to prove his leadership by saying he knew there was a hippo and that stretch of water was dangerous. Not to Carl. He wasn´t worried, he wanted to pass.

We wanted to listen to Innocent. Carl moved to go across. Innocent said NO. He got out of the canoe to check where the hippo was. He was an angry hippo, no girlfriend, and injured Innocent said. (How does a guide know these things).

He decided he´d take the terrified German girls in his canoe. And the American was to go over with Titanic. He said the hippo would go under the water for five minutes and then he´d take everyone accross and then come back for the rest of us.

He loaded everyone up and off he went.

The hippo went under and when it came up the most incredible site befell us. He came RIGHT OUT OF THE WATER IN FRONT OF OUR VERY EYES AND STARTED CHARGING TOWARD US! Hw was huge. I don´t think Greg nor i will forget that image of this huge hippo. A bull hippo. They´re so big! Inncoent and the others got through, the hippo was coming towards us. It was still about 20 metres away but it felt very close. He went under.

I was then afraid.

How were we going to be the second lot through?

Innocent and Titanic came back walking through the forest. The girls stayed up the river with the canoes.

Innocent made the decision that we should all walk back to where the others were with our canoes. We all agreed. Except Carl. He wanted to brave it and go throught while the hippo was under. Innocent said have you ever paddled like mad in a canoe? Carl said yes. He wanted to go. That´s what he paid for! To have an adventure.

Titanic took us to where the others were and we hoisted up the canoes. Innocent headed off with Carl. We thought they´d be history and we all waited for them to cross as we´d arrived to the spot where the girls were long before the mad Carl and the poor guide came through. We guiltily got my cameras out, wondering what we´d capture. That´s how worried we all were.

The angry hippo went under the water and Innocent and Carl made the mad dash. And made it.

And that´s not the end of the story.

As we were canoeing along Greg and i got literally stuck on a rock in the middle of the river. High and dry. Titanic had to push us off with his canoe!

That didn´t seem half as worrying (although potentially it could have been and after the croc and the hippo we should have been worried but we did have faith at this stage in Titanic!).

I tell ya..........

We felt like the situation in Zimbabwe (the corrupt political situation) was nothing on canoeing down the Zambezi!

We bought the shirt, ¨canoe or die´ in the end.

And realised there couldn´t literally be a truer statement!!!!

The moonlight cruise after that was rather blissful! Seeing hippos that knew the boat we were in were so much bigger than them was quite comforting!